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fallen angel
Posted on 2005.07.25 at 23:24
I just want to be HAPPY, dammit! I don't care what it takes anymore. I want to be happy and I don't fucking know HOW.

Fuck everything...

This world is on the way out anyhow...


fishwolf at 2005-07-26 03:31 (UTC) (Link)
*cheerful* Get yerself a plaything! That'll make ya happy.
wingsofapproach at 2005-07-26 03:36 (UTC) (Link)
Unfortunately, our friend seems to break his playthings too quickly to really benefit from their presence...

fishwolf at 2005-07-26 03:41 (UTC) (Link)
Yeah, I tend to break mine pretty quick too, but I just get more.

But for right now, I have a new one. 's fun.
wingsofapproach at 2005-07-26 03:43 (UTC) (Link)
He likes them to last longer, last I checked. He thinks because HE has to be around till the End of Days, his playthings should too.

Glad that you have a plaything that gives you amusement.
tragedyman at 2005-07-26 03:45 (UTC) (Link)
So I can hurt something else? That's not... something that will make me happy... -shakes head-
fishwolf at 2005-07-26 03:50 (UTC) (Link)
*thinks about that* Ehh. I personally like the screaming.
rheis at 2005-07-26 03:48 (UTC) (Link)
...some lyrics come to mind, Luce.

"Fools said I, you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows.
Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence"

Think about it.
tragedyman at 2005-07-26 03:59 (UTC) (Link)
I'm sorry...

But it was unfair to pull you in... you don't KNOW how much of a fucking coward I really am.

I passed up something I wanted because I was afraid of you. I'm sorry. Dammit...
rheis at 2005-07-26 04:08 (UTC) (Link)
Apologies? *shakes head* Luce. No apologies.

My recommendations right now? Listen to what Reno says. I think he can offer you better words than I can right now.

You and I, we'll talk. I don't really know when yet, but we have eternity. There's no rush. And it's not been passed up, it just hasn't really started yet.
wingsofapproach at 2005-07-26 04:10 (UTC) (Link)
You are incredibly right about one thing here... it hasn't really started yet.

My recommendation, since we're all brothers here? Remember that apology for later. Because it might come in handy.
tragedyman at 2005-07-26 04:19 (UTC) (Link)
You should probably listen to Izra. -wane sigh- I've managed to fuck up much lately.
rheis at 2005-07-26 04:27 (UTC) (Link)
I'll listen to who I want to listen to.

*wry grin* I've been getting lessons from Korudon on... things. I think I have a bit of an understanding of what you need, Luce. You are similar to... but not here. We should talk. I'm around if you want to speak to me directly.
tragedyman at 2005-07-26 04:35 (UTC) (Link)
It wouldn't surprise me if you knew me better than I knew myself, Zamael.

But considering our distance... my distance, I do have to warn you again. Izra knows what he's talking about... I'd come talk to you directly if I could at the moment. But I'm away from normal means of communication.

Soon, I hope... we can talk soon...
rheis at 2005-07-26 04:40 (UTC) (Link)
*nod* I understand. Soon, then.
firespirit at 2005-07-26 03:59 (UTC) (Link)
*waves* Hi. We don't know each other, but it doesn't really matter, because this is public forum, and I feel like I can offer something.

I recently went through something like that. I wanted to be happy, but I didn't know how. I'm still going through it.

If people offer help... take it? And don't be afraid to find out what will make you happy. *little smile* I was, and I didn't even know it. And I'm still afraid of what makes me happy. It's a leap of faith I have to make every single day. You sometimes have to just let go and let things happen.
deceiverssmile at 2005-07-26 04:08 (UTC) (Link)
You're very preceptive, or you've been through an emotional hell over this.

I'm willing to bet a bit of both. -small smile-
firespirit at 2005-07-26 04:10 (UTC) (Link)
You'd win that bet.
deceiverssmile at 2005-07-26 04:12 (UTC) (Link)
My compliments to you, because from where I stand you seem very optimistic, unlike a lot of this rabble here.
firespirit at 2005-07-26 04:17 (UTC) (Link)
I'll take them, if given permission to do so. *smiles*
not_by_nature at 2005-07-26 04:22 (UTC) (Link)
Yes, you may take compliments. He's not offering you anything tangible, therefore, take it. Min parte tos kanones toso kyriolektika, agapimenos.
deceiverssmile at 2005-07-26 04:25 (UTC) (Link)
My thanks.
not_by_nature at 2005-07-26 04:31 (UTC) (Link)
*shrugs* He's still new to being a slave. He still needs direction, I give it. I suppose you're welcome.
deceiverssmile at 2005-07-26 04:15 (UTC) (Link)
As for you, you ignorant child,

Happiness is something you have to allow yourself. I would have thought after all these years you would have had some inkling of exactly what that met, but them I've been far more wrong about many other things when it concerns you.

You have absolutely no concept of yourself apart from your tragedy, Lucifer.

I will sum up quite neatly what everyone here, except perhaps Azrael, is trying to say.

Get over yourself! If you want to be happy and that can be acheived with Zamael, for your own sake and mine, TRY! Please!

I love you, you know I do. And we both know that it wasn't enough.

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